New Phone - Oh how I love Thee!

A moment of silence...

My cell phone has ceased to be...

I could no longer jam a wire in her butt to giver her new life...

There was many a night recently when she was struggling to live, when I had to jam the wire hard into her butt and tilt her back across my bedside table and rest a bottle of hot sauce on her head. I did all of this, lovingly, in the hope that I would see her face light up for just a few seconds.

Unfortunately, she had to be replaced because she could not meet my needs any longer. I took her to a buddy of mine and he "disposed" of her properly. I felt sad to see her go in such a way. From death comes new life.

Last night, I went out on the prowl for a new one. I was able to land this choice model. She is not scared to be behind a camera; she loves movies; she even plays me music when I rub her buttons correctly. She is more than willing to flip herself open whenever I command it. Plus, I can jam the wire in her and she sucks on it all night. I am so in love. My plan for the evening is to make some dinner and have my new phone get some boobies on the screen. I am taking applications at this point. Compensation can be negotiated in person and is very flexible. More than one set would be even more choice.

Go Johnson sisters in Female Olympic Curling!